I have tried my best to try to be happy for the time when I’m back home. All my hard work goes straight down the drain when it gets nearer to xmas. On the actual day, I can’t even function or act like I’m fine anymore. I have whined to him that why isn’t he with me this xmas and his reply goes “do I have to spend every single holiday with you?” Ouch. I don’t mean to spend every single one with him but since our last meeting was horrible and all I want is to patch things up without leaving it dead. Stupid of me, anniversary falls on xmas day as well, this is why i cant be happy. I even got mad at him for spending christmas in vietnam with 3 of his female classmates. He says one of the male bails out on them and leaves earlier. I try not to be jealous but i can’t lie that im not hurting on the inside. i can’t force things. he even asks what if he cant come back for jan or he has to stay somewhere for work. he really hasnt thought about me at all. i wont be graduating at least until early 2013. that means the chances of me following him is slow. i dont know why am i making myself going through all the pain. i should have just let him go since he doesnt even give a damn about me… all i want for christmas this year is… for you to be happy again, and no more me ruining your live….
Tags: anniversary
