As the clock hits 12 and it’s a new year, I sort of expect my life to turn a new leaf automatically. But, no matter what I do, he still affects me. I hate how bitter I sound when we text (which is very rare, cause he’s clearly too busy to text). God knows what should I do in order to go through this difficult time. He doesn’t want me, loud and clear. Yet, I’m still clinging on and can’t move on. It’s bad enough knowing that he had a great new year eve bash that lasts till 5 in the morning and see pictures of his red tipsy face. I don’t even know who he is anymore. I want to stop feeling the pain. And as his bff is on the way flying over to see him. I hate myself even more.
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