Darkness has won again, no surprise there. Darkness – infinite wins vs me – nil. Everytime I think I’m getting stronger, darkness comes back and hits me harder than before. And it happens more often than I hope it would be now. This time, it has taken 4 days away from me. So much negativeContinue reading “Some Days Are Harder Than The Rest”
As much as I try to deny it, others’ opinions of me matter. I crave approval from others since very young. To a point that I hate to admit that I want to be seen as the person who do good and be ignored of all the mistakes I make. One person can do aContinue reading “This is not the life I pictured”
No matter what, always try to remember what matters most, even when it’s hard.
Don’t know when or how did growing up has a moral stick up my arse and make me a moral police with no room for error or living. I can’t seem to understand a lot of decisions that are made by others or even let myself make the same mistake twice.
I am almost starting to believe that March is a cursed month, when every year things seem to go awry for me for no reason. It has started last week where nothing in particular has happened or triggered this but somehow I am incapacitated by nothing. I have seemed to have lost my will orContinue reading “I Hate March”
Holy s, I do miss marketing more than I ever know and admit, from watching Emily, minus the perfect wardrobe, work capabilities/knowledge, confidence, and eye candy. I miss working on a campaign, brainstorming for ideas. Those were the days that I will never live and relive again. Knowing dreams mean nothing right now. Hating lifeContinue reading
While under the perfect circumstances, love is essential and it is quite the thing that makes the world goes round. On the flip side, it can turn into a scary thing that brings out the worst in a person. I do wonder sometimes, are we all in love with the idea of love or doContinue reading “Random Musings”
I don’t know what drove me to watch this one video last night – of a couple announcing their amicable divorce of 10-year marriage. By fate or irony, especially on this date. It’s been a year since I left the place that I previously stayed at for 10 years (see, 10 years. What a sign).Continue reading
A year ago, I told my friend that I didn’t want to live anymore, thinking that it sounded less scary and dramatic than I want to die. It was one of those insensitive moments that made someone sad again, thinking I was could just be selfish even just for a second. She cried and toldContinue reading “The Darkest Hour”
“When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others.” – Oscar Wilde. So true. One enters into love with a rose-tinted vision and heart full of hopes while leaving love with a lot of excuses. I wonder if we do see the red flags at theContinue reading
Except for us, or me at least. This is supposed to be one post. Now it becomes a chronological series of thoughts over the past weeks that I have been trying hard to complete. It all begins with a suppressed emotions that I couldn’t fathom or stomach. That leads to pent up emotions and finallyContinue reading “Nothing Has Changed”